Barbara De Angelis is one of America's
foremost experts on relationships and personal growth. Her New
York Times bestselling books include How To Make Love All
The Time, Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, Are You
The One For Me, Real Moments, and most recently, Real
Moments for Lovers.
Her award winning television infomercial Making Love Work
airs in hundreds of cities each day and is the most successful
relationship program of its kind.
In our search for self-knowledge and spiritual truth, many of
us are, I believe, looking in the wrong direction. We have separated
the spiritual from everyday living, and thus separated ourselves
from experiencing everyday spirituality. The spiritual has become
associated with Sunday church services, or the Sabbath, or yoga
and meditation, or a trip to India, or a tour of a famous European
cathedral.
We think praying is more spiritual than riding a bicycle, reading
religious literature more holy than making love. We are living
secularized lives and yet wondering why life often feels so meaningless
and devoid of purpose. The search for real moments and everyday
spirituality must begin with a return to and embracing of the
human.
Everyday spirituality is not an escape from your usual life in
search of some special, exalted experience, but a surrender into
the fullness of every experience.
It is not a path that leads you away from the human to the spiritual,
from the Earth to Heaven, but rather one that leads you back
into the ordinary and everyday, and invites you to find the spiritual
within it. It begins and ends where you already are, right here,
right now. There's nothing else to look for, nothing else to
acquire. You already have everything you need.
We are not human beings having a spiritual
experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." Ram Dass
EMBRACING YOUR HUMANNESS
When I became a seeker, I began what I called a "spiritual
path". In my longing to know God, I turned away from worldly
things. I practiced meditation for hours, sometimes days at a
time. I spent whole years in retreat and in silence, living in
the mountains, seeing only other meditators. I viewed my physical
body as an obstacle to enlightenment, my human desires as impediments
to achieving a pure, spiritual state. And I looked at my life
on Earth as some sort of prison sentence I was serving that kept
me from going back "home" to my Divine origins.
I had many beautiful and uplifting experiences during those years,
but I could only be happy when I was doing my "spiritual
practice." After searching and searching for answers to
my dilemma, I finally had the important realization that all
of human life was a spiritual practice--I was supposed to be
practicing being human!! And thus far, I hadn't been doing a
very good job. In fact, I'd attempted to avoid being human entirely.
No wonder I was so miserable: I was in the water, but trying
not to get wet!
Since that time, I have worked on embracing my humanness, not
running from it, and looking within it for the very same spiritual
experiences I used to seek elsewhere. I know now that my presence
here on Earth is not a sentence - it is a gift; that being human
is not a loss of spirit, but an opportunity for spirit to enjoy
itself on the physical path. I am here because I am loved.
LEARNING TO RECOGNIZE EVERYDAY HOLINESS
In order to experience everyday spirituality, we need to remember
that we are spiritual beings spending some time in a human body.
We are not separate from spirit. This would be impossible. We
are simply spirit disguised in human form. In this way, we are
connected to all life. The flower is spirit disguised as a flower.
The tomato is spirit disguised as a tomato. The rock is spirit
disguised as a rock. We all share the same source. We are all
made of the same invisible particles of matter. We are all One.
When we separate the spiritual from the everyday, we limit our
opportunities for real moments. We miss ordinary miracles and
wonders because we are looking for something flashy, something
that screams, "I am special, I am holy." We are so
distracted by our search for the extraordinary that we don't
even recognize the sacred when we encounter it.
Real moments of holiness happen when we experience moments of
wholeness with ourself, our environment or another person. As
you go through your day, look for holy moments and everyday miracles
--the hug your child gives you for no reason at all; a flock
of birds flying past a cloud; the beautiful array of fruits and
vegetables the earth has produced that are waiting for you at
the supermarket; the song playing on the radio that gives you
just the message you've been needing to hear; the lone yellow
dandelion bursting through the crack in the concrete sidewalk.
When you stop and pay attention to holy moments and everyday
miracles you will start living with awe and wonder, and participating
in a Divine love affair with God.
Yesterday, approximately 200,000 people throughout the world
died. Their time on earth is over. They did not wake up this
morning. They did not feel the sun on their face, or feel the
wind on their skin. They did not hear laughter, or singing, or
birds calling to each other. They could not eat an apple or drink
a glass of water. They were not held or kissed or smiled at.
They cannot see the stars twinkling in the sky tonight. The cannot
gaze at the moon.
You are alive. You are here now. You have another day. That is
a blessing. Enjoy the ordinary everyday miracles that make up
your life....They will be your most sacred real moments.
Barbara De Angelis is one of America's
foremost experts on relationships and personal growth. Her New
York Times best-selling books include How To Make Love All The
Time, Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, Are You The
One For Me? Real Moments and Real Moments for Lovers. For information
about books, tapes or other products by Barbara De Angelis, or
for a schedule of seminars and personal appearances, pleas call
1-800-682- LOVE (5683).
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